Most divorcing couples find themselves in mediation somewhere throughout the divorce process. Mediation is one of the most used methods of negotiating a divorce settlement. Mediation is a process where a third party is hired to meet with the divorcing couples and help them discuss and resolve the issues of their divorce. The mediator is not there to make the decisions but rather to serve as a facilitator.
Preparing for the first mediation session can be a nerve-racking experience for many people. The idea of sitting in a room and working together with someone who you have been fighting with for months may seem like a pointless endeavor. It is important to remember, though, mediation is financially sensible and a family friendly choice. Below are a few tips for preparing for your first mediation session so you can get the most out of it.
Control Your Emotions. Mediation is a negotiation process, and emotions will only cloud your judgment and cost you more money. While emotions are understandable they are counterproductive. Mediation is not the time to call each other names or get back at each other. Vent your emotions to your friends, family, or other support system and come to mediation composed and ready to negotiate.
Prepare to Negotiate, Not Argue. Arguing is not helpful to the mediation process and is likely the reason you are getting a divorce in the first place. Mediation is about looking forward and figuring out a plan to get what you reasonably want. Many divorcing couples fall into the trap of focusing on the past while at mediation. The past is the past and mediation is about negotiating for the future. Before mediation, think about what you want, within reason, and come into mediation prepared to work together to come up with a plan.
Put All Your Concerns on the Table. Many divorcing couples are unsure what they are allowed to talk about at mediation. Mediation is the time to bring up any concerns you may have; everything is relevant and should be discussed. Mediation is a proactive process so even if it is not an issue right now but it is a concern you have about the future, bring it up. Also, it may be helpful to come to a mediation with a list of your concerns in writing.
For more information on mediation, please feel free to contact The Law Office of Bradley R. Tengler in Rockford, IL at 815-981-4859 for a free consultation. Please note, the above does not constitute legal advice. Please discuss your specific rights with an attorney in your own jurisdiction.