Law Office of Bradley R. Tengler, P.C.

Keys to successful co-parenting

Divorce is a rough time, but it is also a time when both spouses need to keep one eye toward the future. This is particularly important if the couple shares any children because they need to be ready to raise those children in their new environment

It is vital to learn how to resolve conflicts and co-parent maturely after a divorce. Regardless of the reason(s) why the marriage ended, here are several tips for having a more successful co-parenting arrangement: 

Keep communication lines open

You need to continue speaking to your ex after a divorce for the well-being of the kids. That means responding to texts, phone calls and emails in a timely fashion. It is also essential to talk face-to-face occasionally to discuss your children's long-term needs. An easy way to keep these communications civil is to keep the children at the focal point of conversations. 

Set aside resentment

In the first couple of years following the divorce, you may feel particularly angry toward your ex. However, you should not allow your anger to get in the way of raising your kids. For these instances, it is worthwhile to view your ex as a coworker whom you do not care for. You may not like the person, but you still need to work together for the common good. Setting aside your personal feelings is arguably the most crucial part of co-parenting. 

Find external support

You should avoid getting into arguments about trivial matters with an ex, especially when children are present. An easy way to avoid this is to vent your frustrations to a third party. You should meet up with a friend or family member every so often to discuss how you have coped with this new arrangement. These conversations should take place far away from the kids. It is also critical that you never use your children as weapons against an ex or put the kids in the middle of a conflict. 

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