Law Office of Bradley R. Tengler, P.C.

Minimizing the impact divorce has on children

Divorcing your spouse typically impacts your entire family, and this tends to hold true, regardless of the reason for the breakdown of the marriage. For children, divorce often means new homes, new custody arrangements, and, in some cases, new schools. Adjusting to all these changes can place a strain on even the most emotionally stable of children.

There are, however, certain steps you can take and methods you can employ to help minimize the strain your divorce places on your children. Typically, the sooner you take steps to do so, the better off your child or children will likely be. So, what types of things can you do to help minimize the impact your divorce has on your kids?

Accept what caused your divorce

Maybe you were the one to initiate your divorce, or maybe your ex was. Similarly, maybe you fell in love with someone else while married, or maybe your ex was the one to do so. Ultimately, marriages end for all types of reasons, but the sooner you can emotionally accept what caused your split, the sooner you can come to terms with it for the sake of your kids.

Exercise restraint

It is not at all uncommon for divorcing parties to see their former partners as adversaries, rather than partners in parenting. The sooner you can shift this mindset, the better off your children will likely be. No matter how badly you may want to vent or badmouth your ex around your child, hold off on doing so.

Maintain flexibility

Try to hold back from saying “no” to your ex when he or she wants to swap childcare arrangements, unless if you have a valid reason for doing so. Sure, you may not feel like doing this person a favor right now, but at the end of the day, it is your child whom you need to think about. Your child is better off when his or her parents are willing to help one another when warranted for the sake of the shared child.

You may not have positive feelings about your former partner. If you have a child or children together, you owe it to your kids to try to maintain at least some type of working relationship with this person.

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