Making the decision to seek a divorce was hard — but figuring out how to reinvent yourself as a newly single person may be harder. The fear of having to “start over” can be one of the major reasons people delay divorce as long as they do.
Rest easy. There are plenty of people who have gone down this road before, and you can learn from what they’ve discovered. Here’s how to approach life after your separation and divorce:
- Go ahead and grieve. No rule book says you have to celebrate your divorce. Even if you were the one who sought the divorce, the end of your marriage is also the end of a life that you once happily embraced and looked forward to having.
- Put off dating until you’ve handled your feelings. Rushing headlong into the dating scene can be a disaster if you haven’t processed all of the emotional baggage from your failed relationship. You may end up making the same mistakes (or a bunch of new ones) when you choose your next partner.
- Find your past self. While you were married, you may have abandoned hobbies you loved or the habits you enjoyed. Do you like who you are now? If not, it may be time to start painting, writing, dancing or reading again. Spend some time focusing solely on the things that you enjoy until you’re very clear on what makes you happy. Knowing who you are makes it easier to find the right circle of friends and a potential new mate that fits with your goals and lifestyle.
- Go ahead and try something new. Something as simple as a new haircut or color, a delicate tattoo or a change in your wardrobe can help you mark the transition between “married you” and “single you” and make you feel like a new person.
The reason so many people flounder post-divorce is that they’ve grown unused to defining themselves (except in relation to their spouse or children). You have to reach backward to move forward on solid footing.
Divorce and post-divorce issues can be easier when you have the help of an experienced attorney. Find out more by contacting our office today.